FLASH PANTS(1974)
This is, of course, a rip off of Flash Dance!! But
the name is just about all that they have in
common! With a lot of nudity and sex, and
no decsernable acting skills, there is only one
reason to watch this!!
This is recorded off a vhs tape, and the quality
is really lacking!! A
A review from IMDb.com:
There is only one review for this, and it's LOOONG!!
Of the three adult films "inspired" by Adrian Lyne's
lovably ludicrous leggings & leotards blockbuster
FLASHDANCE, this is easily the worst. Ken Gibb's
FLESHDANCE remained closest in storyline and,
dare I say it, spirit to the not-so-original (which
was, after all, little more than a blatant reworking
of 42ND STREET for the aerobics era) with leading
lady Shanna Evans bearing close resemblance to
Jennifer Beals to boot. On the other hand, Joe
Robertson's SEXDANCE FEVER didn't bother with
any such similarities but had infectious energy
and a good-looking cast. Another of director Eve
Milan's schoolgirl sagas, like THE T&A TEAM and
FIRST TIME AT CHERRY HIGH (her - ? – best work),
FLASH PANTS throws in a couple of poorly staged,
not to mention pathetically performed, "production
numbers" almost as an afterthought. Sole exception
is lovely Michelle Maren who struts her stuff on three
separate occasions yet each time so incongruously
inserted as to provoke gales of laughter rather than
admiration for her Terpsichorean prowess. My
personal favorite, for all the wrong reasons, is
the moment she rips off her prim 'n' proper high
school uniform as if it were a stripper outfit in
the middle of the school yard to put on an
impromptu display of high kicks for her
understandably bewildered girlfriends !
Frequently cast for non-sex support, Maren's
only hardcore footage can be found in Gerard
Damiano's THROAT 12 YEARS AFTER and Ron
Sullivan's PUBLIC AFFAIRS.
Plot, such as it is, has a bunch of high school
students in fetish-inducing plaid skirts and
knee socks competing for the title of Flash
Night Queen, sort of an alternative to prom
night with the girl who has shown the best
moves both vertically and horizontally (geddit ?)
awarded the dubious honor of partaking in
pleasures of the flesh with the event's mysterious
organizer known only as the King. Most of the
girls are precocious teenage tramps with the
exception of aptly named Angela, played with
relatively convincing naivete by fan favorite
Tanya Lawson (Ron Jeremy's erstwhile girlfriend
until she found religion and left both him and
the industry), who has been saving herself till
marriage, much to the chagrin of slow-witted
beau "Bobby Spector" a/k/a the late Bill Landis
of Sleazoid Express and Metasex fame. Trivia
alert : speaking of dubious honors, luscious
Lawson curiously appeared in all three
FLASHDANCE send-ups, though this is her
only lead in any of those. True to character,
she holds out – with only a stuffed toy solo
to keep audience impatience at bay – until
a third act revelation compels her to slut
out with most of the male cast for the
hands down hottest sex in an otherwise
barely lukewarm endeavor.
For the record, Athena Star and Alexis
X – blond and redhead respectively – appear
together as they did on numerous occasions.
Considering their simultaneous industry entry,
they may have been real life friends. Their
easy-going rapport makes their obligatory
Sapphic tryst fun to watch. While Star
remained an adult film mainstay, albeit
in a second string capacity, until decade's
end, Alexis called it quits after a dozen
movies in a year or so. She has one of
the hotter scenes when she assaults her
squeamish boyfriend as he's washing his
dad's car. Giggly blond Chrissy Williams,
a bad actress even by porn's less than
lofty standards who appears to be
reading her lines off poorly placed cue
cards, only did Ron "Art Ben" Dorfman's
characteristically uneven WOMEN AT
PLAY besides. She looks positively
terrified by motor mouth Jerry Butler,
playing her jock boyfriend. Black
performer Nicole Bernard, who's in
the tepid tub threesome, had bit parts
in several high profile hardcore features
including Roger Watkins' CORRUPTION
and Howard Winters' SNAKE EYES. Mature
one shot Joy Stick (!!!) plays Tanya's mom
who figures into the none too unexpected
denouement when she's revealed as a
former Flash Night Queen, leaving her
little girl to carry on the family
tradition. - Dries Vermeulen